Q: You are an author, professor, keynote, workshop instructor, journalist and mother. How do you juggle it all?
A: I consider myself very blessed to have such a diverse life and the ability to be flexible. I also have found my passion and work that I love. None of it is drudgery. I tell my workshop participants that I write for fun and profit. I became a public speaker because I love to interact with an audience, and teaching always gives me more than I give out. Sometimes I am a better writer than I am a mother, and sometimes I am a better mother than I am a journalist or speaker. But with everything I do, I give it my best. I put all my energy into every assignment and challenge, but when I meet a deadline, I move onto the next assignment. I have found it’s a great way to succeed professionally and also not a bad way to live my life.
Q: What writers influenced you the most?
A: There are so many journalists and novelists I admire. When I was in high school, I read E.M. Forster’s “A Passage to India,” and was mesmerized by how the writer made each scene almost tangible. Also in high school, I was introduced to William Shakespeare and found the wordplay delightful and his mastery of the language formidable. Some plays I have read many times, especially, “King Lear,” one of my favorites. My writing tastes are ecclectic. So I would read Kurt Vonnegut and James Joyce, and I was probably one of Erma Bombeck’s youngest fans. I thought she was witty and profound at the same time. When I had the pleasure to interview her years later, she was as generous and wise as I imagined she would be.
Of course, Tom Wolfe had a huge influence on me as a journalist. I remember reading “The Right Stuff,” in 1980 and having to pause, put the book down and exhale. His metaphors and exquisitely graceful phrases melted me and made me want to be a better writer. I also was able to interview him years later and found him to be one of the smartest people I have ever met. Nora Ephron was a pioneer for women in what were traditional men’s magazines for writers, such as Esquire, so I aspired to write as she did.
Jane Hamilton, Anita Shreve, Joyce Carol Oates, Isabel Allende, Elizabeth Berg, Alice Walker, Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro-- all these writers have such grace and genius. I read a lot of memoirs, and am awed by the agility of Rick Bragg and Dave Pelzer; David Sedaris makes me laugh. I try to read a lot because I feel good writers are good readers. Most of the time when I read a book I fall in love with the words. While I used to feel supreme envy, now I feel exhilarated knowing that kind of beautiful writing is possible. I even read cookbooks, not just for the recipes, but for the descriptions and the connection the author feels with the preparation of beloved dishes.
Q: What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?
A: Professionally, it would be writing my first book. It was an exercise in honesty and courage. Personally, it would be raising three good men, or trying to. We still have many years to go before that verdict is delivered, but if I can do this, I can do anything.
Q: What makes you laugh?
A: I love to be surprised. I appreciate candor and I admire someone who can be upfront about who they are and how they perceive the world, wihtout pretense or self-consciousness. Usually, it strikes me as funny. My children make me laugh, sometimes not intentionally. I think you need to have a really good laugh every day. I try my best and generally tend to see the absurdity in most situations. It beats being depressed and angry. My mother always told me to at least act like I was having a good time, and quite possibly, I would end up having a ball.
Q: What does “writing to save your life” mean? Is it literal?
A: No, I am not selling snake oil and promising that writing is a cure for every ill. Save means preservation as well as rescue. Though many studies in the field of narrative therapy have concluded that writing about your life is beneficial to your physical, mental and emotional health, just penmanship is not a panacea. Writing and contemplating your life in a meaningful way can offer salvation from the rigors of the world. I wholeheartedly believe that writing keeps me sane. But as my sister, Madeliene once remarked, “This is sane?”
Q: Your first book was about your experience with abuse. What do you tell other women and men who have been affected by domestic violence?
A. That it does not define you. Once you have extricated yourself from a dangerous relationship, your life only gets better. Not living in fear gives you the energy to pursue your passions and to be honest with all your relationships. I will never be happy that I endured a hushed, private violence. But I am proud that I got out, got better and took this experience to help myself be a better mother and friend, and to help the many women who come after me. I can use my strength to reach out and pull someone else through the heartbreak. And I try never to hurt someone else, because I know how it feels to have been deliberately harmed. I attempt to see people and events as they are, and not as I wish they would be. That saves a whole lot of time.
Q: In your newspaper and magazine career, you have interviewed many celebrities. Who was the most memorable?
A: I had the opportunity to interview Tom Cruise in a Beverly Hills hotel room when he starred in the movie, “Cocktail.” It was a fairly awful movie, but he was gorgeous. The only problem was I was eight months pregnant at the time, and probably weighed 20 pounds more than him. The pathetic thing is I still flirted with him heavily. A few weeks later, when my first son was born, I stopped by the filming of “Born on the Fourth of July,” as the set was a few blocks from my home in Dallas. I was pushing the baby in the stroller and sent my card to the gaffer who then went and got him from his dressing room. A few days later, Tom sent me a present for my newborn son at the newspaper where I worked. It was a copy of the videotape, “An American Tail.” On the envelope was the return address, “Tom Cruise.” Everyone at the office told me it was so sad that I would go through the trouble of sending myself a package postmarked from him. But he really did send it, along with a lovely note that I have in my son’s baby book. He was quite a gentleman and truly a class act. Mimi and Nicole had to be in the wrong.
Q: What advice do you give other writers?
A: Keep getting better at what you do. Keep reading, taking workshops, writing and taking risks. Good writing comes from an intellectually athletic practice of doing it every day, no matter what. You also have to practice no excuses writing. That means the dog, the laundry, your spouse, kids, job, parents, friends, exercise program can’t get in the way. Whenever I have a choice on what to do with my free time, I write. I would rather be remembered as a good writer than someone with a perfect manicure. It is also possible for anyone to be a good writer. Being a writer is also not at all about who you know but how you do. You can do anything you dream. You just have to keep working at it, seeking advice and getting better. A great career doesn’t fly in and land on you when you open the window. You can make it all happen.
Q: What do your boys think of your very public career?
A: I think I embarrass them, especially if I write about them. But I am never vengeful and I would never tell their secrets. They are not mine to tell. I think they think it is cool that I am famous, at least as they see it. If they come to book signings with me, they think it is odd that I have fans. Because ultimately I am the person who cleans all the underwear in the house.
Other Interviews
www.thebooxreview.com/micheleweldon.htm
www.recoverynetradio.com/details.cfm?showid=54
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